Crina and Kirsten Get to Work

Anxiety!

We all feel anxious at work sometimes, and for some, these emotions impact performance, relationships with coworkers and the quality of their work. 
SHOW NOTES
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our terrific twosome analyze anxiety in the workplace.
Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.  Anxiety can also be triggered after the fact, i.e. by a death, job loss.  Anxiety can express itself as feeling nervous, jittery, sick to your stomach, jumpy, tired, irritable, dry mouth, sweaty and having difficulty sleeping – these are all signs of anxiety.  And Crina explains that if you get sweaty, panty liners stuck to the inside of your jacket is an excellent solution.
And what causes it – what does not?!!  Deadlines, conflicts at work, managing people, unclear expectations, and of course - a pandemic.  Anxiety is prevalent among women at work. A study referenced in Mind Matters: Anxiety in the Workplace says 71% of women experience anxiety in the workplace. 
How do we manage it and how do we know when we need help?  Help may be just the thing if your anxiety interferes with your participation at work or in your life.  If you avoid experiences because of anxiety or feel as if your suffering is not reasonable, get help from a licensed therapist or counselor. 
Experts believe, in fact, that people may be hard-wired in the way they experience anxiety. Although scientists still don't precisely understand the interactions among genetic, environmental, psychological, and developmental factors, research suggests that high anxiety tends to run in families.
And of course there are real COVID reasons for anxiety both in and outside of the workplace - women are on the front lines in healthcare (80% are women) and in women in social services (83% are women)  according to Tina Tchen of Time’s Up - and there are real risks being on the frontlines.  Covid also presents loves of uncertainties for all of us - what will returning to work be like, is it safe, will I catch it, is the information I am seeing in the news accurate, will I get a job in what will likely be a competitive market?
So what do we do:
Work – people need meaningful work.
Talk with a Friend you Trust – it usually make us feel better
Be Organized and Prepare Yourself – when you are organized and prepared there is less to worry about
Educate yourself about Anxiety – it will help you learn whether you need help to manage
Ask for help – both inside and outside of work
Stay organized. Filing and clearing your desk and computer desktop may rank low on your priority list, but they can save you time in the long run and may prevent a crisis later.
Avoid toxic coworkers. Try to ignore negativity and gossip in your workplace.
Take breaks. A walk around the block or a few minutes of deep breathing can help clear your head.
Be Healthy - eat healthfully, get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and limit caffeine and alcohol. Try to keep your body and mind in shape.
Engage deeply in the here and now.
 
Check out these articles for more inf
Anxiety and Stress in the Workplace
Mind Matters: Anxiety in the Workplace
Mind Matters: Anxiety in the Workplace
https://www.verywellmind.com/work-anxiety-4692762
Managing Stress and Anxiety
           

Working From Home: Who Knew It Would Be Like This?

The pressure to do it all is nearly overwhelming and something has to give. We can't simply work harder and expect to get everything done, especially when we're juggling jobs, family, community AND our own needs.  
SHOW NOTES 
Crina and Kirsten tackle the hard truths of what it is really like to work from home in this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work.  
First up – expectations.  There are expectations from all sides when it comes to working from home.  There are expectations from our bosses (even if you are your own boss), but that is not all that happens when we are at home – add expectations from ourselves, from our family, from our friends and those expectations that we see as “normal” on social media. 
Second up – pressure.  There is pressure to meet those expectations, to perform, produce, caretake, solve – and do to it all as gracefully as a Zen Buddhist monk, but sexy.  ARGHH. 
These are things many of us have struggled with for years and even decades – and one of the things the pandemic has exposed is the depth and breadth of those things that just don’t work.
We need to examine whether we’re holding on to expectations that have never really worked for us.   The experience of the pandemic has brought this to light in a way we had not seen before.  We need a paradigm shift – away from what does not work and to something that allows us to be whole humans rather than freaked out and frenetic.
Crina thought it would be wonderful to take virtual tour of a museum every week during the Stay at Home Order.  Kirsten envisioned on-line yoga and long walks.  And the reality - Crina is still in the same clothes she wore yesterday and Kirsten is hunkered down on the brown coach pounding away on her computer and talking with clients before the sun comes up and after it goes down – working harder than ever.  Crina and Kirsten share stories of friends and colleagues doing crazy $%&# to keep everything together for family, work and friends.  Take away – this does not work – probably not in the short term and definitely not in the long term – and maybe it never has worked for women.
Here is the solution – from the author and thought-leader Glennon Doyle – throw away the memo!  Recognize when the “memo” does not work for you.  Recognize when the expectations others have for you deplete you in a way that is unsustainable and sucks joy from your life. 
In the short term, the pandemic is not normal, and our reactions and responses are likely not normal either.  This is an opportunity to be more humane to ourselves and each other – and possibly address some of the long-term issues that we have been struggling with that the realities of working from home during a pandemic have shown us.
We have a chance to lower the bar, which does not mean we do not want excellence, but maybe good enough is good enough with most things – particularly when so much excellence means giving up your humanness.  Be kind to yourself, look at your patterns. Ask yourself if your behavior is the product of habit or is it full of intention?  And how does it serve you and your values? 

Navigating Change and Transitions Pt. 2

In the midst of change and transition comes the opportunity for innovation, new ideas and new ways of seeing the world. Join us as we continue to explore how to manage personal change and how to harness the opportunities that transition can offer.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts take on Part II of Change and Transitions - Innovation.  After we get through the hard stuff of change - acknowledging endings and getting ourselves ready for what is to come, we get to the good stuff, innovation.  As a reminder, Crina and Kirsten put this two-part conversation in the context of William Bridges’ Change and Transition Model.
Last week they discussed endings -  letting go, mourning loss, identifying what is being left behind.  And your response to change is often driven by how much notice you have.  Sudden change can be more traumatic and take more work and time to deal with.  When you know change is coming, it can sometimes be easier.  Think about how much easier it is to get kids off of n the playground when they have a 10-minute warning of leaving versus the kids who do not have any warning.
Once you let go, you find yourself in the neutral zone.  Bridges describes this as the  in-between time when the old is gone, but the new is not fully functional.  It can be uncomfortable.  Folks can have low-energy and can get stuck.  You may have a sense of what to come, but you are not actually quite there.
The next step is new beginnings and Bridges describes those as:
Feeling different
Forming new identities 
Forming new ideas
More energy
Openness to learning
The light at the end of the tunnel is innovation.  And out hosts take a dive into history to articulate that hard stuff can lead to good stuff.  History tells us that good things can come out of this pandemic.
For example, the Black Plague led to workers earning a wage for their labors and the Enlightenment. 
Pandemics in the in the early 20th century led to the concept of modern altruism, led in Philadelphia by the African Free Society
And look what is happening now  . . . we are all doing things that not long ago would seem impossible.  We are moving workers home, establishing new ways of doing things and new processes - in record speed.
 
Crina and Kirsten get all “fortune-teller” about what will happen as a result of this COVID-19 pandemic.  Crina thinks sweatpants will be the new little black dress.  There will be new DIY with at home wax and dye kits.  But in all seriousness, this will be a time where we revamp our workplaces and our homes to accomodate long term changes in how we work.  We will rethink how we make money.  And hopefully we will use this opportunity to think how we create more of what we want - more meaning, ease and joy - in our lives.  Don’t miss the opportunity.
And please enjoy this goodness:
Five Predictions For What Coronavirus Means For Innovation Leaders
“Coronavirus Capitalism”: Naomi Klein’s Case for Transformative Change Amid Coronavirus Pandemic
The Number One Key to Innovation: Scarcity
COVID-19 Will Fuel the Next Wave of Innovation
Why Coronavirus Will Stimulate Innovation
How Epidemics of the Past Changed the Way Americans Lived

Navigating Change and Transitions Pt. 1

Change is inevitable and you are in control of how you manage it. Your emotions, your actions and your attitude are all dictated by how you deal with an ever-changing environment. Join Crina and Kirsten as they explore tools to get a grip in this time of extreme change.
SHOW NOTES
We are deep in the COVID-19 pandemic and out hosts, Crina and Kirsten, are deep in innovation with their remote recording session on Change and Transitions. This is Part I of a two-part series.  In Part I Crina and Kirsten talk about change and transition, why it is so hard and what to do about it. This is the hard work we do before we get to the good stuff - innovations, which will be discussed in Part II.
Crina and Kirsten talk about their experiences with the change that the Covid-19 pandemic has created in their own lives and those of their family and friends and of course, listeners.  The big take-away is that we are all in different places. Some folks have been forced to innovate at hyper-speed, such as medical professionals, governments, first responders and newly remote workers.  Others of us are in a holding pattern or home with no work. All of us have some uncertainty. Will our work change? Will the changes that have happened be forever? Will I be able to adapt to this change and what will it look like in the long-term? 
In order to help listeners navigate change and transition, Crina and Kirsten focus on a model, developed by William Bridges. Bridges asserts that change is something that is external, where transition is an internal process. According to Bridges, “Transition is not just a nice way to say change. It is the inner process through which people come to terms with a change, as they let go of how things used to be and reorient themselves to the way that things are now.” 
Crina and Kirsten also talk about strategies for moving through transition including: don’t underestimate how hard change can be; acknowledge your sense of loss; take control; acknowledge your feelings;  and take care of yourself. 
For more information, check out these resources:
Making sense of life's changes: The Transition Model by William Bridges 
William Bridges Associates | Transition Management Leaders

Competition

Is competition "lady-like?" Do you care? Join us as we consider how women compete, challenge you to think about competition as a positive way and encourage you to use it to strive for the things that you want! GO FOR IT!!  
SHOW NOTES
Science tells us women tend to compete in ways that minimize risk and use fewer resources.  For example, males in the animal kingdom (and we can include our own males) tend to engage in competition with riskier behaviors that use greater resources - think of a fist-fight over a perceived slight. Alternatively, females in our animal kingdom do the opposite  - think the silent treatment. The smart folk, also known as scientists, say this may be due to females’ generally greater responsibilities around procreation.
And of course, there is that nasty thing called the patriarchy that tells us that competitive behavior by women is socially unacceptable.  Women are often perceived negatively when they exhibit competitive traits. Our hosts call BS (bologna sandwich) on that!
Studies show that competition increases innovation and creativity, quality and productivity - and that most people perform better with competition.  Alternatively, too much competition or dysfunctional competition can kill morale, cause stress and just generally create more bologna sandwiches.
Crina and Kirsten talk about competition at work for jobs, raises, attention, respect and how we can engage in that in a positive way.  Kirsten shares her experience as a new lawyer in an office full of male co-workers as well as her experience participating in sports as forming her feelings about and approach to competition.  
Our hosts end by discussing a new approach to competition.  Using others as examples of what can be achieved and what you may want in your life can create inspiration. Is someone you know creating something in their life that you think is good?  Aspire to that thing - but rather than being motivated by jealousy, be motivated by what is possible and work to achieve that with confidence in yourself. Others can show us what is possible, but it has to be your journey and your inspiration.  And the joy of helping others along the way will carry you forward. 
 
Women Experience More Incivility at Work — Especially from Other Women
Opinion | Why Women Compete With Each Other
Gender and Competition
htthttps://hbr.org/2017/03/the-pros-and-cons-of-competition-among-employeesps://womensoundoff.com/blog/2018/3/14/negative-competition-among-women
Competition Among Women: Myth and Reality
https://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2015/07/08/competition-at-work-positive-or-positively-awful/#3e0915d32da8
Female competition and aggression: interdisciplinary perspectives
(PDF) Sisters at Arms: A Theory of Same-Sex Conflict and Its Problematization in Organizations

Who are you in a crisis? Choosing kindness in the midst of Covid-19.

Covid-19 SUCKS! What are you going to do about it?
 
SHOW NOTES
Like all of you, Crina and Kirsten are adjusting to life during a pandemic. There is so much uncertainty about the disease, fear about the economy, and confusion about what we should and should not do to protect ourselves and our community. There is also the very real fact that many people are losing their jobs and their livelihoods.  
 
Join us for this special edition, off-the-cuff episode of our podcast to hear what we’re thinking, how we’re coping and what we’re suggesting for workers, employers and business owners.   
 
We also offer you ways to express kindness, generosity and abundance during these difficult times. 

Love and Money--Is That Big Pay Check Impacting Your Relationship?

Money makes the world go round, but it might not make you happy. In fact women who make more money than their partner report that they are less satisfied with their lives and their marriage. Crina and Kirsten ask, “How can this be true? And how can we start to change the narrative about female breadwinners?” 
SHOW NOTES
Who doesn’t like making a good salary?  But what happens when you make more money than your partner?  A listener encouraged us to consider this topic and her suggestion is our next episode,  On Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our lively ladies discuss the different aspects of making more money than your partner.
Let’s not deny it, it is great to make money - there are very few downsides to doing so.  However, it may present complications when you make more money than your partner, particularly when your partner is a male.  
In 1960, women were the primary breadwinner in 6% of American households, that number is up to 25% today - so we know this topic affects a lot of women - and while that is good news, it is also, as we said, complicated.
What is interesting about the demographics on this issue is that younger women are less likely to make more than their male partners.  Women in the 50s and 60s are actually more likely to make more than their dudes. Race and ethnicity also affect these numbers. So, we know that the same factors that affect women’s compensation in general also affect whether women make more money than their beloveds.
The data shows that most men still think it is better when women do not work outside the home and when a woman makes 40% of the household income, male partners start to get nervous.  When women make more, both men and women report lower marital happiness than couples where the men make more.
Crina and Kirsten have lots of experience with this.  Crina has made more money, made less money, worked more and worked less than her spouse.  Kirsten has been the earner, a single mom and has also made less than her spouse. So with all the bases covered, these gals get to the reality of wrestling with these issues.
And find all the interesting information below:
7 Women Who Make More Money Than Their Men Sound Off.
When Women Earn More Than Men
When Wives Earn More Than Husbands, Neither Partner Likes to Admit It
Men's stress jumps if their wives earn more than 40% of household income
The Happiness Penalty for Breadwinning Moms
 
Breadwinning Mothers Continue To Be the US Norm
 
Women Breadwinners Household Income Family Impact Study

Confessions of a 9-to-5 Racist

While many people see racism as intentional and overt, it is actually woven into the fabric of our daily lives. Well-meaning people perpetuate systems, policies and structures that are designed to benefit white people and discriminate against people of color. Check out this episode to hear how Crina and Kirsten have confronted their own racism and the racist systems that they are a part of.
SHOW NOTES
Our co-hosts are tackling a big, ugly problem - maybe the biggest - racism in the workplace.  Before you listen - trust their intentions. This is an important topic and they are pushing themselves to talk about it - and making themselves more vulnerable than usual.  They do not have all of the answers and probably get lots wrong, but it would be way worse to not talk about it. So hold tight and bear with our gals.
This show is for people who acknowledge that racism exists - our dynamic duo is not out to convince anyone about anything, but just to get us all thinking about these issues.
Crina starts with a discussion of the nomenclature of racism - institutional, system and structural racism.  It helps to define what we are talking about so we can better understand it. Just like men sometimes do not recognize the patriarchy, white people sometimes do not recognize white privilege.  
Kirsten digs into the data about race and jobs and advancement in the workplace - as she loves to do.
Crina shares stories from her executive director days that are candid and revealing as to how this really happens and plays itself out in the workplace.
Crina and Kirsten hope you leave the show with more awareness and curiosity and less defensiveness - and that it leads to less suffering from racism and enjoying the riches of diversity.
And please ding in deeper with the following . . . there is so much!
Views on Race in America 2019 | Pew Research Center
Being Black at a White WorkplaceStatus and Trends in the Education of Racial and Ethnic Groups 2018
What Is White Privilege? Here Are 9 Everyday Examples
January 28, 2009
The Urgency of Intersectionality
17 Deplorable Examples Of White Privilege
What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege
Why Aren't Black Employees Getting More White-Collar Jobs?